Oh the humanity...

This week I have been beating myself up over a few mistakes. And they may not really be all that big of a deal, but this week to me they were. First of all, I have no idea what happened last week, but I totally missed Donna's baby shower, because I thought it was on the wrong day..seriously, I still am baffled at how I thought her shower was on Sunday instead of Saturday. Ugh...So that was the beginning, how could I totally think it was the wrong day...what is wrong with me.
And then yesterday I yelled at Gideon, I mean yelled. And I'm not a yeller. And I feel terrible. We were running late, trying to get out the door, I was in the kitchen getting Joanna's lunch together and watching the kids, Joanna was in her car seat on the floor, and the boys were fighting over who was going to play with her and I was like "Gideon move out of the way please, Gideon move, Gideon move right now right now, (at this point I was already feeling my blood pressure rise) GIDEON move Right now, GIDEON MOVE NOW" (that is when I yelled and slammed my hand on the counter.) At this point Gideon was already crying, I sent him to his room to await a talk, while I cooled off in the kitchen. I went in his room asked for forgiveness and we talked about obeying the first time I ask. And even though he forgave me and I have now realized that I've become a little to lax in this area of instant obedience, it still doesn't make me feel any better...I should not have yelled. What is wrong with me!
And than last night I was pulled over by a police man for speeding (I was trying to get home to watch the office) but I couldn't tell him that. LOL! I did not get a ticket but could not help giving myself a pep talk "Bethany, what are you thinking? Speeding? Over a show? Ridiculous! What is wrong with you?"
What is wrong with me? I am still so much flesh. So, as I talked to Jesus the rest of the way home he just reminded me how much he loves me, and that he knows I am far from perfect no matter how hard I try. He also reminded me that I need him ("which I already know, you don't have to teach me this way God!") and that He was sitting in the car with me when I realized I missed the baby shower, He was standing in the kitchen when chaos happened and he was sitting beside me when I got pulled over and with me all the way home. I am not alone on this tough journey and I want to take opportunities like this to share of God's faithfulness and love when I totally mess up. Here are some lyrics to a song that God spoke to me through this week:

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of your presence
I know that I am restored

When you call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None bu Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do your will

When you call I won't delay
This my song though all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
Forevermore

2 Corinthians 12:9 has always been so dear to my heart and has been a comfort in times of failure. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.